Michelangelo 3:16: Wise men say, “forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.” And soeth, I must force penance on you, pizza delivery boy, by removing your left hand – so sayeth the lord. And it was good.

Raptor Jesus 3:14: Your face was delicious.

Regular Jesus 3:14: And the Lord bequeatheth that the ever vengeful eye of the Lord will be open. The Lord will be watching every sinner’s sin, every eater’s food, and every tobogganer’s tobogganing. The lord knows whether you are sleeping or whether your awake. The lord knows if you’ve been bad or good. The lord even watches when you masturbate. Sometimes, the Lord can be pervy.

Yawkey 04:04: And the Lord Declareth the New York Yankees shall sucketh the moist testicles of the Boston Red Sox. Neither CC’s nor A-Rod’s nor dark of night shall silenceth the boomstick of the diminutive destruction of St. Dustin, and it was good.

Peter 7:15: And the Lord did grin. And so he declareth The Mighty Hare to be the birther of eggs on the Anniversary of the future death of Flannel. And the Mighty Hare’s eggs shall only be decorated in a rainbow of God’s own image. And The Mighty Hare shall never be seen except in department stores belonging to Sears, Macys, or JC Pennys, and it was good.

Paul 69:18: And there he met Xzibit, and thus his ride was pimped with rubies and sapphires, and scented with frankincense and cocoa butter to make the hookers feel welcome, and it was good.

Paul 69:17: And God rode into Jerusalem on a six fo’ B.C. Impala, searching for women of disreputable morals, and it was good.


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